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about

Live Sep. 2014 at the Unknown

A collection of literally minimal early renditions, demonstrations of ideas with the aid of open-minded friends/players, prepared for a western U.S.A. tour in September of 2014 alongside a Stephen Steinbrink band set, and then recorded quickly at the end of the tour.

Snapshot of a brief period where Ever Ending Kicks was part of a traveling loose performance art piece with rock band shaped props. Jk, but we played jokes and we reinvented music and we sold out of our t-shirts and then we disbanded.

Recorded and mastered by Nicholas Wilbur.


LOTS MORE INFORMATION BELOW plus lyrics
arranged by song



Reflective


why:

One time I was on tour with Allyson just the two of us and we were in Portland parking at Grant and Marit’s place after a show really late. Allyson was in the drivers seat backing up and asked me how close to the curb we were. I was very tired and I turned around and was looking right at it and the words came out "I can’t remember". We laughed hard about it for a long time but it was very poignant for me because I was so sincere and in the moment and that’s what the truth had been.


words:

woke up
thinking about how
experience shapes you
and you find out now
tied to
all the things you do
when you're too young to
get any sense out
but you'll see

woke up
owning the feeling
of the white ceiling
hanging above me
empty
without a history
never distracting
only what you see
link to
thinking about how
experience shapes you
and you find out now
but what when
memory's selective
allowing just clues that
no one understands
memory- lazy master

memory:
based on a true story
subject to lighting
directed by me

memory:
scarcely it's own thing
reward for engaging
money begets money

memory:
right where you're looking
new sheen on the old thing
glossy, reflecting now



Experiment


why:

I made this doodle in a notebook once that just said “Fuck the fear! Ditch the dread! Lose the laze!”. My own laziness has held me back and I see the same behavior in other people and I just wish we could put the specific parameters of our unique minds to use and make real whatever ideas are in there- evidence to the world that the thing that made us us ever existed.


words:

forget the fear
ditch the dread
lose the laze
describe your state

simple mellow confidence
no showboat
funny hat in the face of death
and regards for the rest

forget the fear
ditch the dread
give up guilt
it's an experiment
describe your state

forget the fear
ditch the dread
lose the laze
do what's in your head
describe your state

when the new issue is [that there's] no issue
the song will fade
outside will come inside
and I'll rearrange



New Solution


why:

Before I had more consistent work at the underwater microphone shop (current job) I remember the feeling of applying for jobs that were obviously within my skill range but the format of the whole interview process didn’t really account for that fact. It just felt like this stupid ritual prescribed from some greater power that had nothing to do with the interaction between me and this other person in the room. Like it doesn’t matter what you’re good at in the real world, like the job description is simply being good at interviews. I don't want the world to be like that.


words:

when I open my mouth
does it seem so innocent
when I start talking about
what's in it for me
and I will never discover
if I think I deserve
anything

what's good about me
doesn't fit on your application
it takes time to describe
what it's taking time to define
and I will never recover
what felt like
even just last week
"pleased to meet you"
on your terms
makes "pleased to meet you"
something I need to learn

what's the matter with me
is how I know where to explore
a new issue of mine
means a new solution to find
and I will white out the canvas
blemish by blemish
and account for the discrepancy between
what I am and what I see



Director's Chair


why:

It’s so frustrating to see these American brand trucks and SUVs with fresh hateful bumper stickers slapped on them and you just know that once you get up close you will see a white man with white hair in a tall black mesh baseball cap with gold leaf on it. How incredibly sad. Just a busted ass old fart with nobody and nothing to live for but the idea of his long gone team. Fucking learn how to be unprecedented and alone in the world. I wouldn’t say I’m all the way there but I recommend the mindset.


words:

elder who knows what's right
pretends otherwise
just to be on a team
people will do anything for a director's chair
I'd do it too [not]

staring back
alien in baseball hat
christian in distressed jeans
De Corti as crying chief

people will do anything for a director's chair
name on the back, you don't always have to sit there
people will do anything for their own jersey
number on the back showing they're participating
people will do anything to have a monument
secured to a word, sure not to be forgotten
I'd do it too [not]



Cross-eyed


why:

This one’s embarrassing to talk about. I grew up in Arkansas weirdly well adapted to my oppressive Christian upbringing (pre-rebellion). I was my parents first kid and everything I did was special and mind-blowing. It’s not like my art as a kid sucked, but my parents' support (mostly mom’s) just made me feel empowered to engage alone with things that were useless and fun on a deep enough level that I could express subtler things than anger, for example. I received similar treatment from teachers and peers through high school and beyond. A few years after moving to Washington and being surrounded by artists who were like me on paper, support and inspiration started to go away and I slowed making stuff while others were working at it. I started imagining this sad narrative where I enter the ranks of people who try and try and that‘s their life. And then I did do that. Now I treat creative endeavors like very enjoyable work, not waiting around for lightning. Humbled. Also my glasses prescription literally addresses the fact that my eyes are very slightly crossed.



words:

staring at the drip-line
they couldn't make me go
on the porch it felt fine
I didn't need to know
a good imagination
holed up, heavy, home
dark ideas of outside
and of other people
but I no longer know what makes me so special

staring now I see all
the people get along
cross-eyed from my close walls-
I know that they can tell
I know longer know what makes me relevant
as far as I can tell I am not separate
slowly I am less cursed with disinterest
and I'm ready to come out if out will let me in



Wayward


why:

This one was more of a mood piece I guess. I feel like as a “punk” I've related to characters who misunderstand the simple boring nature of what everyone else is up to and are misunderstood to be up to no good. But I am fine. I don’t know. This song maybe doesn’t even make any sense just some words strung together. Sentiment. I just wanted to empathize with the misunderstood. Despite privilege my imagination allows me to feel empathy.


words:

wayward- my weight against the door
winter- doing less with wanting more
paper never looked so good before
anchored to the thoughts I can't ignore
standing in one place exercising full range



Music World


why:

Being surrounded by artists is weird! I don’t think that’s where art comes from historically. I mean maybe it does, but to me it's meant to reject or respond to some larger other. But if you have less and less evidence that the other actually exists (culture bubble) or that the only people who will hear your work are these like minded peers then what is the point? Even if it seems like I am preoccupied with day to day life (I am) I still want to make a dent. To me, fun is not a good enough reason to bring more content into the world. Music is a powerful vessel that can deliver meaning to the world, but the more we deliver empty vessels and impossible puzzles the less likely anyone will care or even notice when we try to seek a real connection. Crying wolf.


words:

summer goes and life begins
distractions off to where they live
silly faces greet and peace
and conga line down the main street
and seek address for ceaseless breach
force-feed nauseated beast
cultural phenomena
standing under banners tall
grasping at common language
friends music that I don't get
no scorn for the music world
but I second guess my place, it's worth
summer's gone and life continues
in need of a new space to live




Some of these explanations are maybe one sided and can probably be punctured by people who think more seriously about things I barely touches on but this is where I was coming from when I wrote these songs. I thought it would be an interesting experiment to just lay it all out here. Because of rhyming and phrasing and an idea of what sounds pleasant to sing, I may have been accidentally cryptic in the lyrics. I may have contradicted myself.. I’m just taking an extra step to be real and add some value to this raw aural document.

Thanks for listening,
Paul
12/24/17

credits

released October 26, 2018

Bass Guitar and Singing - Stephen Steinbrink
Drum Set - Chase Kamp
Keyboard and Singing - Paul

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